THE JRNY 021 - “Just because” Wants
Hey Reader 👋 ,
I think to be happier, I need to find more “just because” wants and get/do them. I don’t necessarily think it is THE answer to happiness, but it probably helps.
I recently realized that I don’t know what I want, which is so weird to say. After all, it’s a “skill” (if we can call it that) that we have as soon as we’re born. When I imagine babies or kids, their natural state is to know what they want. They want the milk, they want attention, they want to go play outside, etc.
But as I grew older and became for aware of my surroundings, I started molding an external shell to try and fit in with everyone else. I started wanting things that others wanted, not that I wanted.
I started thinking more about money because it brought status and power (to a certain extent).
I started wanting to be an entrepreneur because it represent being smart, being bold, being different.
What’s crazy is I now have to put in work to undo everything I did growing up in order to be in-tune with my “just because” wants.
”Just because” wants are things I want “just because”.
An example, the only one I have, is badminton. I’ve had many people ask me over the years why I love badminton so much or why I keep playing badminton and the answer is “just because”. There’s no darn good reason except for the fact that I like doing it. I want to play badminton “just because”.
I personally think that my overthinking is due to this specific reason. Deep down, I know what I want, but because I’m not self-aware enough to know what exactly I want, I need to constantly mentally battle the thing I really want vs the things I think I want.
An example of this is relaxing. At times, I’m sure what I need and want is to relax. To do nothing. Except, there’s an external shell that is trying to convince me to be productive. That it’s unacceptable to relax. That relaxing is “bad” and that I should be productive to “get ahead”. And so, what ends up happening is that I start having a mental battle between “should I relax” or “should I do something ‘productive’ ”.
Anyway, I don’t know where I’m going with this, but it’s something I wanted to write just because I thought it would be useful to someone.
I’m going to try and be more aware of what I want “just because” instead of wanting things for external or internal motivations.
Peace.
Hey you ! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post.
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We'll talk more next time and until then, don't forget to enjoy your life! ✌️
— Nicholas