THE JRNY 018 - Getting Out of Our Own Way
It’s 10am, I just finished taking my daily team call.
I put my headphones down, grab a boxer, grab a towel and head to the bathroom.
Take off my clothes, turn on the hot water and walk my feet under the shower head.
I stand there, letting my thoughts wander while my body enjoys the warmth provided by the hot water pouring down on my skin.
As I’m finally getting comfortable, I hear 3 beeps.
Beep beep beep.
Then another.
Beep beep beep.
My thoughts suddenly stop wandering and I am faced with the reality that my two minutes timer has reached 0.
Marking the end of my morning comfort and the start of discomfort.
It’s time for my cold shower.
I set the timer for 1 minute, turn the water to the coldest setting and remove myself from the water.
As I look at the water spewing from the shower head, I start thinking about how good it’ll feel afterwards, the adrenaline hit, the sense of accomplishment, the clarity in my thoughts.
As I am about to step under the water, one word pops into my mind. Cold. And then a slew of other thoughts.
How cold the water hitting my skin will be, how it will sting for the first few seconds when my skin first touches the water, how I’ll have to control my breathing during the 1 minute and how plain uncomfortable the whole process will be.
I stare and stare and stare some more. Debating whether I should subject myself to this uncomfortable practice or simply turn off the water and return to warmth.
Until finally, I tell myself “I. Want. This.”
I press start on the timer and I throw myself into the cold water. All under 3 seconds.
Too fast for my brain to react to what I’m doing.
A minute later, the timer beeps, I stay under just a few seconds more to prolonge the sense of accomplishment and I turn off the water.
I feel fucking great and I say to myself “I can’t wait to do this again tomorrow.”
This is something I do every single morning. It always happens the same way. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder.
For those wondering, no, I do not take my whole shower in under 2 minutes. I simply rinse in the morning to reset my hair and get my day going. I shower shower at night, where I take 10-15 minutes with hot water like a normal human being.
However, as I was going through my little practice this morning, I thought to myself “Holy shit, this cold shower thing, that I go through every morning is a metaphor for my whole life. It’s the reason why I don’t accomplish most of the things I want to do.”
And do you know which part reminds me of my current situation the most? This one here.
I stare and stare and stare some more. Debating whether I should subject myself to this uncomfortable practice or simply turn off the water and return to warmth.
Indeed, that little 10-30 seconds I take before going under the cold water is a micro example of what I’ve been doing my whole life.
How many times have I wanted to do something. Something that I actually wanted, something that I know will make me feel accomplished once completed; only to never actually do it? Thousands of time. Too many times.
Why?
Because I let myself and my thoughts get in the way.
I mean, in the shower, I’m lucky. I really don’t have anywhere else to go or anywhere to hide. It’s either I do the cold shower or I turn off the water.
So when I start thinking about “how cold it is or how uncomfortable it’ll be”, I just run in the water and boom, I’m already there so I complete my cold shower.
In real life though? There are so many distractions.
On a fulfilling project that takes 1 month to complete, I have so. much. time. to get distracted. A new Netflix show, some youtube videos, a new book to read, some cooking to do, an emergency at work, etc.
But you know what the worst part is? The distractions are just contributing factors, they are not the root cause of all this.
The root cause, as I stated earlier, is what’s in our minds. Our thoughts. It’s us.
As T-swift sang so well “I’m the problem, it’s me”. And she’s right !
I’ve let my own safety thoughts take over way too much.
These thoughts that are baked into our DNA from thousands of years of survival instincts trying to protect us from danger.
Although they were very useful at some point and are still sometimes useful, the vast majority of the time, there is no real danger.
Maybe people judging me or talking smack behind my back, but as I said, nothing life threatening.
So, how do I stop getting out of my own way despite having these thoughts?
Practice, practice and practice.
Practicing overriding these thoughts or blocking them out or acknowledging them and moving on when they arise and taking action regardless of what they have to say.
This edition of the newsletter is a great example.
“It’s too long.” “It’s boring.” “No one cares.” “What if you write badly.” “Who do you think you are to write this.” “Fucking lame article.”
I had all these thoughts while writing this. They almost made me stop writing. Certainly made me think twice about publishing it. Yet, here you are, reading it.
Because I decided to block my thoughts out, continued writing and pressed “publish”.
To conclude, let’s do our best, you and I, to try and get out of our way because we are all too exceptional and creative to not bless the world with our ideas.
Peace.