THE JRNY 014 - Lost Connection
|Nicholas Hugh Sam||May 4|
Hey Reader 👋 ,
For those of you who have been following my journey from the beginning, you know that the majority of it has been focused on finding things I like. I've come a long long way since I first entered this journey. I went through many different phases, read tons of books, questioned myself continually and, most importantly, I never gave up.
All that lead to this moment right here. I can finally say that last Wednesday, I started my new career as a Business Technology Analyst at a growing company. My team is full of young people. which I love and the work that I'll be doing seems exciting.
I've also realized that, for some people, myself included I think, we don't necessarily need to make a living out of our passions. I can now totally see myself doing work that I enjoy (as long as I don't HATE it) while having many different hobbies on the side without any of them being what I do for a living.
Speaking of hobbies, I've even finally managed to make a list of things that I want and want to do (for now at least).
I even took it a step further and currently have my week packed with some of them (singing lessons, badminton, learning vietnamese, kdramas/animes).
Looking back to my former self about 4-5 years ago, I can definitely say that I've come a long way from there. On some "Starting from the bottom, now we here" type shit.
With that being said though... You know how they say that we often reach our goals only to realize that the final destination was not really what we wanted?
Well, that's kinda how I'm feeling right now. Yes... this deserves a massive: LOL.
This whole reflection came about when yesterday, I had done everything I needed to do.
I went to go play badminton in the morning, I worked well during the day, I practiced my singing, I watched a bit of anime and I did a few Vietnamese lessons.
In theory, my day had been filled with things I wanted to do, but somehow, I was feeling a bit empty inside.
While taking my shower, I kept thinking about this and I was really pondering what might be missing; why I had that little bit of emptiness after a supposedly full day.
For some reason, my mind took me back to my younger days, when I was about 15-16 and all I did of my days was chill in the streets with my friends. Those simple times when I wasn't doing anything much with my time except hang around with people. And that's when it clicked.
I've just been a pretty bad friend these past few years and because of it, I lost the connection I used to have with people.
I've been so focused on trying to figure out what I do that I forgot to put more time & energy into become who I want to be.
I mean don't get me wrong, I still have some close relationships and I understand that we're all more busy, but I've been seriously neglecting my friendships.
I realized that, at the end of my life, I'd rather be remembered for who I was as a person than what I did during my lifetime. And I want to be the type of person that other people want to be around with.
When I was 15-16, you think all my friends were talking to be because I was good in school or something? No, they talked to me and hung around with me because of who I was as a person. And I did the same thing.
But for some reason, I forgot about that while growing up and I "suffered" because of it.
If I find someone dope, then they're dope. It shouldn't matter what they do, what they have as hobbies or whatever.
If you're cool with me, I should be cool with you too and that's it.
Alright, that's enough about me talking about how much of a douche I am lol.
Hey you ! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post.
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We'll talk more next time and until then, don't forget to enjoy your life! ✌️