THE JRNY 010 - 5 Reasons Why I'm Happier
|Nicholas Hugh Sam||Apr 7|
Hey Reader 👋,
Today's song of the moment is: I CAN'T STOP ME - TWICE
Yay for some kpop ! It's a good song and I also like the choreography. I wouldn't say my a koreaboo, but my interest in korean culture has definitely increased since the pandemic.
I find it hard to write when I’m in a good mood.
Somehow, whenever I’m at my lowest or troubled my some thoughts, writing seems to be an easy way of expressing myself and getting rid of some burdens.
Consequently, I feel like most of my writings are on the negative side and might give the impression that I’m 80% of the time in a negative vibe.
Which is totally untrue. Quite the contrary actually. I’d say I’m 80% of the time very positive, but happen to write when I’m in my 20% negative mood.
That’s why I only release these about once a week because, the rest of the time, I’m in a good mood and don’t really feel the need to write.
With that being said though, one of my overarching goals is to help people by sharing my own experiences whether positive or negative.
So why have I been in a good mood lately? Here’s why:
1. I decided to put success on hold for now
I give myself until 35.
I give myself until 35 to not care about success. It should honestly be more time than that something like until 40 or 50, but seeing so many 16 years old making gazillion of dollars and living the dream life makes it hard to not want it immediately.
In the first half of my 20s, I really tried to focus on success in everything I did and I realized that aiming for success without a solid foundation is just not good.
And that’s exactly what I want to do. I want to build a good foundation first.
This entails focusing on growth and learning instead of focusing on success.
More specifically, this means spending time doing things I enjoy, investing money into myself, allowing myself to experiment and, most importantly, allowing myself to make mistakes.
2. Mistakes are now welcomed
I get it.
The most badass way to learn is to learn from other’s mistakes and not your own.
That’s what everyone can generally agree upon and some part of me also agrees with this, except I’m extremely stubborn and trust myself the most.
This used to tear at me because it always came down to “Do I listen to myself or do I listen to what other people are saying”. But now that I am allowing myself to make mistakes, I can just trust myself more and roll with it.
Or, in other cases, it was a “me vs me” situation and I was paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice. I was playing it out as if it was a life or death situation when, in reality, I was debating what camera I should buy. Again, now that mistakes are welcomed, I can make a decision and say “hey, this was a mistake, learn from it and move on.”
Obviously, this doesn’t mean I’ll intentionally make mistakes. I will always try to make the best decision possible (mix of intuition + hard facts), but if it comes down to something that I have a gut feeling about, I’ll probably roll with it.
As long as the mistake doesn’t get me kicked out of the game and that I can still play, then I’m good.
3. Finding some interests
Thank god, I finally found some interests.
I mean watching korean dramas and anime all day long is cool and all, but at some point, I knew that this couldn’t be all life had to offer. I wanted something more fulfilling.
I’m not sure I’m ready to reveal them just yet, but I cannot stress how important putting success on hold & welcoming mistakes were to finding these.
Had current me told 2018 me about my current interests and that I’d be spending my precious time doing those things, 2018 me probably wouldn’t have believed me.
One is pretty meaningless, the other will most likely make me lose a low 5 figure sum and another one might socially embarrass me.
Despite all those negatives, they are still things that interest me so I'll do them.
4. Staying in my lane
It's so easy to compare, but I found out the more I do it, the less happy I am.
The thing that helped me the most is to remind myself that that person is doing them and I'm doing me.
I love most parts of my life and when I say to myself "would I want to trade my entire life for that other person's entire life?" The answer is no and I can keep reminding myself that they are following their own path and I'm following mine.
Once this sinks in more, jealousy of others diminishes, which leads to happiness for myself and increases the happiness I feel when other people win.
5. I have a plan z
This whole post is really about not being too serious and trying to have a fun life.
However, if I were to keep this mentally forever, then I’d probably run into some deep trouble later on in my life.
Since I cannot possibly know how my life will look like in 40 years and that attempting to guess what I should do to prepare for it is stupid, I will listen to other people in this case.
And that, for me, means:
I can have my fun, I can explore & experiment as much as I want, I can make mistakes, I can spend a bunch of money on useless stuff or “invest” it in myself, but in the worst case scenario that nothing in my life goes right, I still need to make sure that 70 year old me is taken care of.
I will do that by having a solid plan B (software engineer, already secured) and by investing a part of any income in a long-term, low-risk strategy aka low-cost index funds.
There you have it.
Those 5 reasons are why I am currently pretty happy.
I hope you learned something that will contribute to your own happiness.
Hey you ! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post.
If you like something in the article or simply want to discuss with me or give me some constructive feedback, feel free to email me @ firstname.lastname@example.org
We'll talk more next time and until then, don't forget to enjoy your life! ✌️