THE JRNY 009 - Do I Not Want to Like Work?
Hey Reader 👋,
Today's song of the moment is: Peaches - Justin Bieber ft. Giveon & Daniel Caesar
When I first heard Justin (yeah, we're on a first name basis now) sing it during his TinyDesk concert, I immediately told myself that it was gonna be a banger. But once it got released, I was pretty disappointed by the studio version. Something about Giveon's and Daniel Caesar's verses didn't quite seem to fit the rest of the song (or maybe the other way around). Thus, I was in love with the slow + reverb version for a while. After listening to the studio version enough times though, I must say that all 3 versions are great in their own way 🙂
I've been complaining about my jobs for a long time now. While I was thinking of getting a new one, I noticed myself being scared of jobs that need commitment and long hours. At first, I told myself that it was normal and that most people would want a relaxing job that has a good work-life balance. But not me. I realized that I thrived in environments that resemble competition as much as possible. High energy, competitive, a good amount of stress, high performers that want to win, etc.
So... why didn't I apply for those type of jobs?
Maybe I'm scared of finding a job that I like. My whole narrative post graduation has always been "I hate my job, I need to start my own business or side hustle that will eventually allow me to get out of this job." What happens then, when I actually find a job that I like? I think my fear is to be ordinary. Since I was young, I've always had this vision that I'll go on to do something out of the ordinary. As we all know though, finishing University and staying at a traditional job for 40 years is the very definition of ordinary. I think I fear that if I actually find something that I like. A normal job that I could do for many years to come, then I'll lose my only motivation to start a business. Convincing myself that I HATE my job is the only fuel pushing me to actually start a business or side-hustle.
And I think that's my problem. For some people it might work, but not for me. The reason why I'm labelling it as a problem is because I'm coming from a place of fear instead of a place of love.
I don't want to start a business because I love the business and I want to do it.
I want to start a business because I hate my job and I need to get out of it.
And when I have this mentality, I am more apt to want something quick. Consequently, instead of thinking of things I love, I'll start thinking of things that could potentially pop off quickly and convince myself that those are things I love. Why? Because the quicker I get to success or fame, the sooner I can get out of my job.
This might work for some people, but it doesn't work for me because my ultimate goal is to find and do something I love.
Where do I go from here?
I believe the right thing to do is to remove my fear of traditional jobs and go find a job that I actually like and want to dedicate myself to. In doing so, this will remove all incentives to "get rich quick", but it, hopefully, won't remove my yearning to start a business. In fact, it might help me even more because the only reason I would work on a business after doing a whole day of work is if I truly love that business.
Next steps? Apply to jobs that I think I might like even if they consist of longer hours.
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