THE JRNY 007 - What Do I Truly Like?
Hey Reader π,
Today's song of the moment is: Leave The Door Open - Silk Sonic (Anderson .Paak & Bruno Mars)
This collab was one that I did NOT see coming... at all. But boy am I glad that it happened. Smoothest song of 2021 & 2020 so far. I can't wait for the album. Also, unpopular opinion, but I actually like .Paak's parts over Bruno Mars'. There I said it. FIGHT ME. π
I Don't Like That, I Just Want to Be Like Them
Does it ever happen to you that you watch someone do something they love and then convince yourself that you're suddenly interested in it? It happens to me.... a lot.
For instance, I remember this one time, I went into a YouTube frenzy and starting watching a bunch of swimming videos. It wasn't just videos of the actual races; I also watched many breakdown videos and interviews of people like Michael Phelps, Ryan Lochte and Caeleb Dressel (all studs in the swimming world). After all that time spent watching videos and just hearing them talk so passionately about their grueling training and stuff, I had succeeded in convincing myself that I wanted to start swimming ! So 2 weeks later, I finally got the opportunity to swim at my local swimming pool and as soon as the session ended... I was like "okay, swimming is definitely not something that I like".
And it's so frustrating because it keeps happening again and again. I watch someone do something, I get excited about that thing, try it out and realize that I don't like it as much as I thought I would ! At some point, I thought I always had jumping interests because I was a "multi-potentialite" aka someone with many passions, but by looking deeper into it, I found something different. It turns out that the feeling I had of "I want to do that" was actually a feeling of "I want to be like that". It was never specific to the activity that the person was doing. It was about the passion, effortlessness and just cool badassery that was emanating from watching someone do what they love and do best.
Still don't get it? It was simply about finding something that I would be passionate about. My envy was for the passion that someone had for a certain activity and not a passion for the activity itself.
This is what I am currently trying to focus on. Finding things that I am truly truly passionate about or have a deep interest in. It's not easy though, let me tell you that. For me, it's freaking hard because I've been fed so much information about what I should be doing that I actually forgot what I want to do and what truly interests me. I'm not afraid to admit it at this point, I am the furthest thing away from being an independent thinker. If Canada is a spectrum of thought independence, on the far right, you'd have Quebec representing 100% independence (get it? Quebec... independence... hehe) and on the far left you'd have British Columbia for 0% independence, where would I be? I'd be in freaking China. That's how far away my independent thoughts are.
My current thoughts, interests and what I'm doing are often a mix of "what would potentially be successful" and "what are the responsible things to do". And because I don't really feel like doing any of those, I usually just end up wasting my days binging a Netflix show or an anime.
It's tough, but I feel like I'm slowly getting there.
Here are a few things that have helped me thus far:
Decreasing my social media consumption: This one is a clichΓ©, but it really works for me because I'll literally take interest in whatever Twitter, Reddit, YouTube, Instagram, Netflix recommend me.
Increasing my alone time: Journal 3x a week, 30 minutes walk and 20 minutes of meditation everyday.
Decreasing my reading of non-fiction self-help books: I noticed that this leads to too many things that I "should implement" to have a better life.
Constantly reminding myself that life is short & I only have one: These especially help with the responsibility part. Responsibility is important, but in my current situation, I feel like it could take chill out a bit.
Asking myself this one question: "If it never succeeds, would I still do it?" The hardest part is answering this question without bullshitting myself.
One last thing I want to add to the list, which I think is almost a prerequisite to everything, is to not be afraid and accept. Accept that this is what I like, owning it and not being afraid of what other people think of it.
That's it for me.
PEACE.
Hey you ! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post.
If you like something in the article or simply want to discuss with me or give me some constructive feedback, feel free to email me @ onlythetruenjhs@gmail.com
We'll talk more next time and until then, don't forget to enjoy your life! βοΈ
β Nicholas